It’s the afternoon before your first date with him / her. You spend hours choosing your evening outfit and your look while in your mind repeating the questions you plan to ask her. The time is 20.30. Half an hour turned out to be quite enough to learn some small talk about the person opposite. Currently, you are looking out the window while the other notices a poorly cleaned wine stain on the tablecloth. The disaster! What if we could put an end to the unrest on the first date. These 36 questions to fall in love with could totally change the rules of the game.
36 questions to fall in love – how is that possible?
The 36 questions actually go back to 1997, when a team of researchers from Stony Brook University in New York, led by psychologist Arthur Aron, conducted their study on intimacy. The main purpose is to see if two unknown people could develop an intimate relationship thanks to a series of specific personal questions. The result far exceeded expectations! Not only is there a real rapprochement between the duos participating in the research, but several actually end up falling in love. As proof – one of the newly created couples gets married six months later.
Twenty years later, the testimony of a woman who tried the experiment with someone she knew very little appears in the New York Times. This is the beginning of a dreamy love affair and a real rage for the 36 issues that regain the interest of the media and society.
A vulnerability-based test
What is this quiz?
The experiment, which consists of 36 questions divided into three sections, is based on the belief that vulnerability is at the core of creating an intimate bond. Nevertheless, a large portion of relationships today are doomed to fail, especially for fear of being vulnerable and “undressing one’s soul.” Hence the benefit of this test, which helps to get out of its shell and reveal its fragile and sensitive human side. Truth be told, it only takes two people with their stories, joys and sorrows and a little pinch of sympathy to fall in love.
To help build mutual trust, we begin with a series of more general questions that gradually evolve into more intimate questions as we evolve. In addition, the questions could also help strengthen the bond in a couple in love, to unite it or even form new friendships. It’s up to you now to see how it goes.
A few questionnaires to learn how to confide
The 36 questions to fall in love with yourself?
- Who would you invite to dinner at your home if you had the choice of any personality in the entire world.
- Want to be famous and how?
- Before you call someone, do you repeat so often what you plan to say? Why ?
- What is your idea of a perfect day?
- When was the last time you sang for yourself? For another?
- If you could live to 90 and choose between keeping your mind and physique like a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, then what would you choose?
- Keep an eye on how you want to turn it off.
- Name three things you find in common with your partner?
- Name the thing you are most grateful for in your life.
- If you could change one aspect of your family upbringing, what would it be?
- Try to tell your life story in four minutes, as detailed as possible.
- If it were possible to wake up tomorrow early with one new quality or skill, then what would it be?
First set of questions to get to know each other
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about your personality, life, future or whatever, then what would you like to know?
- Is there anything you have been dreaming of doing for a long time? Why did not you?
- What do you consider to be your greatest achievement in life?
- What is it that you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most precious memory?
- And what is your worst memory?
- If you knew you were going to die after a year, then you would change your lifestyle and why?
- What does the word friendship mean to you?
- And what role does love and affection play in your life?
- Switch to sharing a property you value with your partner. Name 5 properties in total.
- Do you have a close and warm relationship with your family? Do you consider your childhood to be happier than most?
- How would you describe the affair with your mother?
Elaborate on the relationship with the second set of questions
- Say three truths each, beginning with “we”, for example: “We are both in this space and feel …”
- Complete the following sentence: “I wish I had someone I could share with …”
- If you were lucky enough to have a close friendship with your partner, share something you wish he / she knew about you.
- Now say honestly what you like about him. Do not be afraid to share things you would not say to someone you have just met.
- Tell your partner about an embarrassing moment in your life.
- When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone?
- Mention something you already like about your partner.
- What is this one thing (if there is one) that is not to be laughed at?
- If you knew you were going to die tonight without having the opportunity to communicate with anyone, then what would you regret not saying? Why have you not told him yet?
- Is your house with everything you own burning? You have saved your loved ones and pets, you have the option to get only one of your assets back. Which and why?
- Of all the members of your family, whose death would you really find it hard to bear? Why ?
- Share a personal problem with your partner and ask, how would they solve it if they had to? Also ask him how he thinks you are having this problem.
Trust yourself to the third part