Gers: she talks about her toxic relationship with a narcissistic pervert

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Gersoise Mathilde Pérez tells in a book about her relationship with a narcissistic pervert and the grip he had on her when she left adolescence. His writing helped him turn the page, while raising awareness of this situation.

Mathilde Pérez did not choose an easy story to tell for her first book. Moreover, the 22-year-old young woman did not choose her story when she lived it. His story, A Psychic Murder, tells of his first love in his late teens, and the descent into hell when this idealized companion turns out to be a narcissistic pervert.

“We had a long relationship, in pieces and pieces,” Gersoise says. In the beginning it was idyllic: he saw something in me that the others did not see. “But soon jealousy and violence take hold in their couples. “I want to put an end to it all. But every time I looked up, it was harassment he was writing to other people who knew his name would come back to me at some point. »

The story, I have already lived it, my pain I put it in this book

Meanwhile, Mathilde noted the words of the man she calls “Joe” on her phone. “He told me I was crazy, at the time I believed what he was telling me. When I reread these notes a few days later, I told myself it was not normal to say such things. That, what’s crazy is that I thought he was not aware of what he was doing. Until the night he told me he was fully aware of what he was doing it was a game for him. notes have become the chronicle of an influence that characterizes the book.

“I understood the fear”

“While I was with him, I was looking for testimonies from women who had been through this, to try to find out what I was exactly into. I knew it was not normal what I was going through,” he says. There is a real shortage of books where women tell exactly what’s going on. raise awareness and help awareness.

In full freedom of speech, the young woman felt that her testimony could help others. “I understood the fear and I understand battered women why they are afraid to go,” she says. The question I get asked the most is: Why did you not go before? It’s very hard to think that someone you thought was so sweet could be so mean at the same time. »

“I regain my life and my history”

This outstretched hand was seized: a month after the publication of the book, she has already received a hundred messages from readers. “It was my goal, I was waiting for a girl to say to me: It opened my eyes,” explains the author. “I do not want pity, I prefer to transmit. Me, the story, I have already lived it, my pain sets I the one in this book. “

It took him a year to write. “It was not that hard to write it down on paper, I wrote it down as if I were writing a diary,” she says, pausing. Just … There’s still my family reading it, work colleagues, friends, people who do not know me … I was scared at first, but everyone told me it was brave, so my worries disappeared. »

Writing allowed him to take a step back from his own story, to better turn the page. “I wrote in another person all the time I was in this relationship because I feel it was not me, writing gave me the opportunity to distinguish between when I was with him and when I am no longer from January 2021, I rewrite in myself: I regain my life and my history. “

Want to write

Today, Mathilde Pérez has broken all contact with her former companion, who harassed her for a year after their breakup. “If Joe read this book, he would turn the matter around. With these personalities, there is no doubt.” She enjoys a psychological follow-up and has gathered enough evidence that her story can have legal consequences.

By turning this page, she keeps writing wishes. “I have ideas all the time! I want to draw inspiration from my personal stories to address many topics that are not talked about enough.” With always this desire to allow consciousness.

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