Let go: love, work, how to succeed?

Far from being abandonment or slackness, letting go is, on the contrary, the fact that one is approaching a situation from a different point of view. What are the benefits, how to practice it, and what are the most suitable therapies to let go of? Explanations with Anne Hairy, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and hypnotherapist.

Definition: what does it mean to let go?

Do not be fooled by what these terms may entail. If the words “let go” at first glance can evoke abandonment, passivity, or loss of control, it is not, in fact, how Anne Hairy, a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, explains to us. “To let go is rather to welcome things at best, to accept them and to be curious. It does not have to be passiveshe explains. Faced with a trial, it is above all a question of not giving up, but to accept see a situation from a different angle while we are aware that we cannot control everything in our lives. It helps to temporarily put our obsessions aside and stop being in a fight.

What are the benefits of letting go?

Letting go has many health benefits. “He regulates stress and brings a certain fluidity, because by letting go, we are less in resistance. Fatigue will subside“explains the psychologist. In general, letting go also allows you to put things in perspective. We fight less, we observe things. We perceive what surrounds us in a more positive way, which makes it possible to find solutions that we had not considered.“analyzes the psychotherapist. Giving up is also focus on the essentials. By adopting this attitude, we tend to more serenity which calms both body and mind. To releases tension and promotes self-confidence.

Letting go of love is a problem. In fact, wanting to control everything can lead to excessive behaviors and emotions (unhealthy jealousy, possession, etc.) that are likely to disrupt and damage the relationship. To “release“, it is first and foremost necessary accept that we can not always control : neither the situations nor the partner. “There are situations over which we have no control. You need to free yourself from that. To achieve this, it is important to be patient and tolerant against the other while leaving a space“advises Anne Hairy. Also beware of preconceived ideas.”As a couple, letting go means not letting go of all barriers and being unprotected.“warns the specialist. Having this perspective is even beneficial. Letting go in this context, advises Anne Hairy to “to observe. To let things happen“.”Avoid being on the defensive and put things in perspective, for example, but also be less on attack with the other“are some avenues to explore.

In the professional context, it can be complicated to accept its limits and would control everything. This lack of hindsight sometimes involves risks to mental health (stress, burnout …) and physical health such as exhaustion. As in love, at work, let go, it is to accept not to control everything, integrate it errors are possible and relativize by seeking alternative solutions to the obstacles encountered. “At work, it is important to be calm, not to fight or resist. Letting go allows you to observe the attention of others and to be more flexible to criticismExplains the hypnotherapist. “It’s about not taking things for granted and trying to understand what the other person is saying. For example, if a colleague comes up with a critique, one may wonder if it is objective. One should also integrate it.”this is not a self-criticism, nor on the personality. You need to take a step back from situations and take your time without being passiveIn this context, we must also to be able to express their boundaries ! “Learning to say no when the task is too heavy, for example, is a good start“advises the specialist. This will prevent you from being overwhelmed.

Which therapy should be given up?

Accept negative emotions and thoughts to move on

Letting go requires work. Various therapies can be implemented to free oneself psychologically. Among them meditation. This mental practice consists in concentrating on oneself and keeping one’s attention on the present. “It helps to be much more involved in the observation, to welcome his thoughts and let go“explains Anne Hairy. acceptance and commitment therapies (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT) also gives good results. This tool especially encourages accepting negative emotions and thoughts in order to move forward. “They advise you to commit to the things you can change and accept what you cannot change. For example, if someone has lost a limb in an accident, therapy will allow them to accept the situation and transform that ordeal by committing to other things adapted to the new condition.“, details the psychotherapist. The goal is to learn to to deal with situations and change our behavior.

Thanks to Anne Hairy, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and hypnotherapist.

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