Online couple therapy: for whom, why?

“If you want to be loved, then love!”, Seneca wrote quite simply. Although he is still one of my favorite philosophers, and this maxim lives up to his fame, in practice it is still complex. In fact, like our lives, the couple is an adventure with its unique character, its risks, its twists and its beautiful surprises. With all these features, it is also very difficult to imagine a “user manual”. And yet couples therapy was born.

If there is no model to follow, then why do couples therapy?

Imagine that you decide to cross the Atlantic to reach Brazil. You have a solid boat, the weather is perfect, your teammate soothing and reliablethen you decide to go to sea … Unfortunately after some time, you are in an unpredictable storm. You keep the helm somehow, but with fatigue and stress, understanding with your teammate deteriorates and it becomes more and more complicated to navigate. What was supposed to happen happened and you are shipwrecked at sea. That’s it you issue an SOS and the therapist comes to your rescue.

As you can see, he’s coming in a little late. This is the biggest difficulty with this therapy because it often represents a “last chance”. Doing so at the beginning of a relationship for preventative purposes is not so bad an idea, but when you fall in love, the future always looks bright, so why predict what will never happen? However, Began as soon as the couple’s first crises emerge, the therapy will allow spouses to understand their conflicts.find yourself, rediscover yourself and define positive actions for the future.

How does online couples therapy work?

  1. Spouses will contact therapists either through a specialized website or directly on its website.
  2. The therapist will then welcome them a first online meeting where they will explain their situation.
  3. He / she will therefore put in place a framework where “respect” will be at the center : respect for obligations, everyone’s words, people, feelings, reactions, etc. Take effect, the sessions should become a space, a moment where you feel safe. This makes it possible for everyone to express themselves, be heard and understood. The therapist will therefore try to create or recreate intimacy. Intimacy here is the space in which two people can be vulnerable to each other without being punished. He will therefore make sure to maintain all relationships so that both spouses find this feeling.
  4. At the end of this first session, and the following, the therapist will be able to assess, a feedback and suggest concrete actions to be implemented at each next session. He / she can also in the following weeks, suggest themes at the beginning of the session.

Of course, Each professional has their own methods and approaches to couples therapy. These examples remain a brief overview of this therapeutic practice.

How long does online couples therapy last?

The long-awaited magic wand will always be in the hands of a magician. The therapist has unique and complex people in his hands. The therapy time will therefore depend on the personal commitment and the types of conflicts that need to be resolved.

It can last from 4 to 20 sessions depending on the complexity of the situation. These indications should be perceived as a sequence of ideas and under no circumstances as a standard for the profession.

Why do couples therapy online?

The online site has a lot of benefits and new opportunities such as being able to do a session with a spouse on the go or a place that the couple appreciates e.g.

Online therapy also provides temporal and economic opportunities, because it eliminates travel time as well as associated costs (gasoline, parking, etc.). No longer has geographical boundariesCouples can expand their search for a professional. and thus find the treat that suits their situation and therefore increase their chances of success.

Finally :

Although love seems obvious, it is not to nurture a relationship. It requires a lot of understanding, communication, respect and patience. The couple is an adventure where we all discover ourselves and often the problem is not the other but what we feel around them.

“It’s not lack of love but lack of friendship that makes marriages unhappy”wrote Nietzsche, and that is perhaps the whole point of couples therapy: remember that there is a human being behind the woman, behind the husband, the spouse, the wife, the husband or the lover. A being who tries to make his life a success and who, despite the difficulties, keeps you in a privileged place.

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