“This little steward would probably have preferred to take advantage of the Ascension weekend”

Since Saturday night, the Champions League final, the winning victim in the big match “Who will be expensive this week” has therefore been a steward, a little so far indifferent to everyone, now in the spotlight for a few days, stealing the show from Zelensky and Tom Cruise.

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This little steward, dressed in a yellow vest (also he), sometimes orange, would no doubt have preferred, like many Frenchmen, to take advantage (also he) of the Ascension weekend to go to the Ile de Ré (17,184 vehicles) crossed the toll to enter the Ile de Ré the day before Ascension Day, that is +12.25% compared to 2021). On Ile de Ré, our little steward would have been far from all the mess he got himself into as an adult.

But no, our little steward preferred to be interesting by not doing anything like everyone else and spending his day, his evening and probably part of the night at the Stade de France in Saint-Denis, a popular resort in the world, to get paid 60 euros (also called “a misery”). But a misery is better than nothing, though it is almost nothing. But three times nothing, that’s already something Raymond Devos would have said.

“Every telecom worker dreams of being a steward.”

So why should he complain, the little steward, the one who was barricaded inside the Carrefour mall yesterday to ensure Sephora’s safety? Moreover, he is lucky: the weather was fine and good Saturday night. Everyone loves to be outside at this time of year. “We’re better off there than locked up in an office working from home, right?” we hear in the queue. In addition, all telecom workers dream of being stewards.

Because anyway realize: this little steward meets a lot of people. With all these checked tickets, he will encounter sweet people, people who will take the time to talk to him with benevolence and kindness while he is in the process of giving them the necessary pats. For it is well known that people always respond well to the applause that the little steward must make, for otherwise he will bear the responsibility of having let a person pass who had the bad idea of ​​committing an attack on the stadium.

But the little steward is proud to participate in the national defense and the protection of the country in a cozy setting. Because it is well known, it is very pleasant for the little steward to feel all these bodies before the start of the fight: he must necessarily fall on bodies and clothes that smell good, only on beautiful and good people students. The little steward therefore has every opportunity to find a soulmate under his legal touch. Who still has this chance in the age of cognitive bubbles?

“He knows the supporters’ songs by heart after the match, the little steward. »

And still, why is the little steward crying? Is he not lucky to be in the stadium during the match? How many small children would dream of being in his place, sitting there at the edge of the lawn with their backs facing the field and their eyes facing the public? Still, he’s in the mood. He watched the match as closely as possible with his head in the smoke. If it is, he manages to turn around to see some actions for free, say the people sitting in the gallery. “I’m sure this big loser is going to collect jerseys and balls” squeal the kids sitting in the stands eating a sausage and fritters whose ketchup runs on the Benzema jersey purchased at the store just before by dad.

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And where is the little steward lucky: to be paid to see an audience for 90 minutes, who never gives him the middle finger, who never insults him, who never throws objects or fireworks at him. It’s still nice. And he knows the supporters’ songs by heart after the match, the little steward. It’s still good for his general culture and for the nursery rhymes he will sing for his children the day he gets home early enough to put them to bed.

Our little steward could also make an effort: his old age (because young people do not really want to be stewards anymore, we do not understand why) and his overweight prevent him from chasing the wise (as he sometimes by living in the same neighborhood as them ), who decides to return without paying and running on the lawn to take a selfie with Messi or Mbappé. The little steward could do some drills to catch up with them next time.

“I’m sure they preferred when the stadiums were empty under Covid, the little stewards.”

But the public shouting “olé” every time the wise little one manages to dodge the steward on the lawn, as one shouts “olé” when the bullfighter manages to dodge the animal in the arena, would be very upset if the steward prevented him from to have fun in these moments that we no longer have the right to show on television, which prevents the steward from getting (him too) the glory of his neighborhood.

I’m sure they preferred when the stadiums were empty under Covid, the little stewards. Because it’s a bunch of killjoys. But are they not happy since the end of wearing a mask in the stands to finally be able to see the faces of the people who spat on them with a smile?

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