Behind the door | Léonie smiles at life

The press offers you a weekly testimony designed to illustrate what’s really going on behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Léonie *, 44 years old

Posted at 4pm.

Silvia Galipeau

Silvia Galipeau
The press

Or does life smile at him? Still, Léonie is lucky. Every day, as in bed. Maintenance.

“I read this episode every week,” confides the 40 brunette who was sitting in a small cafe in Verdun, one hot morning. “And I would like to give some optimism. Because it is possible to have hardships in life, to go and find happiness …”

No, Léonie did not experience enormous hardships. No major upheavals. But his share of small and medium sentences, “like everyone else”, what. And to hear her tell her sweet story, and the je ne sais quoi of philosophical tone, we understand that she does not worry too much, neither in life in general nor in love in particular.

Her first time? No, not with one girlfriend. But with an “insignificant” guy met in a bar. “Maybe because all my friends had experienced it and I arrived too late? »

She was 19 years old, and had “gone there”, as she puts it. Reproduced there in his head, but not exactly in his body. She still remembers it. “I was very naive, I had very little knowledge about sexuality,” she laughs. I thought it was limited to penetration! Oh, my God, it’s bigger than that! »

Dom? “A good first time. For without expectation, therefore without disappointment.” But the fact that I did not like him was not a problem, “she says.

Also ? And then Léonie got a real “friend”, with whom she spent a year. “We liked each other a lot,” she continues, and there the discovery was made in a more pleasant context. It was a really romantic relationship. “In bed?” All the time very pleasant, very respectful, standard practice, “she sums up modestly, still laughing.

In the early twenties, Léonie then got another lover, a story that lasted four years this time, with a shy man who, it should be noted, had a small penis. “He had seen a doctor, he was actually smaller than average, but that was not a problem for me. But for him, yes.”

From the moment we talked about what was at stake and I said to him, “There’s no problem”, it was always very pleasant.

Leonie

“For me, it made no difference,” she insists. Moreover, their sexuality was completely “standard”.

Parentheses: “For me, sexuality is not central,” Léonie explains here. It’s part of the relationship. But I do not want it to take up too much space in my life. To me, it’s an extension of the relationship. ‘If there is a relationship. Otherwise “it’s just for fun”. Not anymore either. Nothing less. End in parentheses.

In the mid-twenties, Léonie separated and then spent five years single. “There I realized it was not that easy to meet anyone. I would not say that I experienced failure, but it was rare that I felt one fit »

While we expect her to swear a bit on dating sites, Léonie changes her mind. “Oh no, that’s not true! I had a nine month relationship with a guy! Not just anyone: There’s probably more ‘shockers’ in bed than ever. “I do not know why. In practice it was the same, but I felt very comfortable in his body. He wanted to please me. It was mutual and very passionate…”

A love of reason

In the late thirties, however, Léonie began to look forward to settling down. That was when she met the father of her children. A meeting that she here qualifies as “rational”. In short, less passionate. ” Once again [sexuellement] it was very good, pleasant, respectful, but perhaps less passionate than with others … ”

If the “connection” died out over time (“we were not robots, but a little …”), and their sex life ended up being pretty “boring”, the story has even lasted 10 years. To conclude around his 40th birthday. Nobody wants that, she says. But at the same time we remained good friends, things are going well, ”she makes sure to specify.

Since ? For the first few months, Léonie chose to “enjoy her freedom”. But not to increase meetings. Rather meet. Herself. “Rediscover who I was.”

And so, believe it or not, but quite by chance, she met a man, her current lover, at her workplace. “I rediscovered love! She obviously can not believe it.” Me, I said to myself: ‘I’m fine alone, I’m independent, I do not need anyone to be happy’, so I’m extremely surprised! »

I fell in love by chance!

Leonie

She does not need to be asked to tell the story: The look here, the exchange of text messages there, then the invitation to have a drink. “It’s only in the movies that we see it, right? She wonders. Today everyone meets online!”

If the connection was immediate, and they also live a “very healthy” sexuality, with small outbursts here and there (“I, 15 minutes, that’s my case!”), Their story is not long, quiet river either. For all sorts of reasons, they even took a short break for a month. Most recently, in fact.

If this “break” hurt her? Safe. “I was very sad,” Léonie says. But I am a very robust person. And I’m extremely privileged to be like that. This guy, I really like him … ”So she understood that he needed space and she gave it to him. Moreover, they see each other a little less since then. “And it suits me,” she says. I am someone who needs some kind of freedom. Time for me, it’s fine with me. »

This is without a doubt the secret behind his happiness. “I wish everyone that resilience,” she said. It’s like an acceptance of life. It’s not always easy, but I try to take it philosophically. »

Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity

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