how to identify the characters?

For a relationship to be healthy, it is important to feel comfortable and safe with their partner. And once the exciting beginning of a new relationship is over, you feel more and more comfortable with the other, and always want to be with your partner. It is normal to wish one’s other half happiness, however if you can not be happy without each other or if it is unfortunate that your life choices are made on the basis of your partner, then it may indicate co-dependence between partners, which is not healthy.

A relationship is not necessarily co-dependent, but people can be. If we determine our own value according to our partner’s opinion of us, then it is one co-dependency pattern.

Where does the concept of co-dependence come from?

It is a word that comes from the United States and more specifically from Alcoholics Anonymous and their support system. Although the word is more widely used today, including romantic relationships, it was originally used to describe alcoholics’ partners who tried to treat their addiction and could not be happy when the other person fell back. Co-dependence is still not recognized as a mental illness today, but it is one toxic behavior which you must take care of. So even if the solution is not to isolate yourself completely from others – we all need a minimum of social interactions – then here is signs indicating that a relationship is co-dependent.

What is a co-dependent relationship?

In a co-dependent relationship, the co-dependent person models his feelings and reactions according to his partner. The co-addicted person will try to “cure” his partner, often through toxic and maladaptive reactions and emotions. Frequent co-dependent people have savior syndrome and will not know how to be objective, and at all costs try to help their partner – and then give it up as love. However, it is also a question of views and societal pressure: Women “must” help men who should not put their relationship before anything else. It is normal to need others in your life and to want to help the people you love. But when our personality disappears in favor of our partner, his desires, his mood, his needs; so there we can talk about one co-dependent relationship.

What is a co-dependent person?

Because every relationship is unique, there is not a single pattern of co-dependent person. But very often, some signals can warn us. First, there are strong chances of a person becoming co-dependent if their partner has an abuse whatever, to the point that he would absolutely save it, spend his time on it to try to heal him or her, at the risk of his or her own happiness. According to Mental Health America, co-dependence is a behavior learned very often in childhood, which is then passed down from generation to generation. A person is more likely to be co-dependent if one of their parents suffered from an addiction and / or the other was co-dependent.

How to recognize a co-dependent person?

  • She will feel responsible for the behavior of others, often more than reason.
  • She will often confuse love with pity and be happy with people she can pity and save.
  • Will always go above and beyond to help others
  • Will be hurt when others do not recognize their efforts
  • Will be dependent on relationships. The co-dependent person will do what they can to maintain a relationship and avoid feeling abandoned.
  • A constant need for recognition and approval
  • A sense of guilt when it comes to asserting themselves and making their voice heard
  • One need to control the other
  • Lack of self-confidence and / or others
  • A fear of being abandoned or lonely
  • Difficulty identifying emotions
  • Difficult to accept and adapt to change
  • Hard to respect and set boundaries and be intimate
  • A recurring anger
  • She will sometimes lie / be dishonest
  • She will have trouble communicating
  • She will have a hard time making decisions

How do I know if I’m in a co-dependent relationship?

To find out if you are co-dependent or if our partner is, you need to know how to ask yourself the right questions. Although the degree of co-dependence can vary from person to person, ranging from “healthy relationship” to “completely toxic behavior”, one can start by answering a few questions before consulting a professional for advice. If you identify with more than one of these symptoms, recognize your partner or feel uncomfortable in your relationship, then it may be necessary to seek medical attention for a professional diagnosis.

  • Do you avoid expressing your opinion so as not to create a quarrel?
  • Are you constantly worried about what other people think of you?
  • Have you ever lived with someone who had a drug or alcohol problem?
  • Have you ever lived with someone who constantly beat you or knocked you down?
  • Is the opinion of others more important than yours?
  • Do you find it difficult to come to terms with the changes that can take place at home or at work?
  • Do you feel rejected when your partner hangs out with friends?
  • Are you in doubt about your potential to be who you really are?
  • Do you find it difficult to tell others how you really feel?
  • Have you ever felt that you did not belong?
  • Do you feel like a complete loser when you make a mistake?
  • Do you find it difficult to accept compliments and gifts?
  • Do you feel humiliated when your child or partner makes a mistake?
  • Do you think that your loved ones would not be able to do without you?
  • Do you often think that you would like to be able to help, regardless of area?
  • Do you have trouble talking to authorities, such as the police or your boss?
  • Are you struggling to figure out who you are and what you want with your life?
  • Do you find it difficult to say no when asked for help?
  • Having trouble asking for help?
  • Do you have so many ongoing projects that you can not actually complete any of them?

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