Maintaining a father-daughter relationship with your child is not a complicated thing, but if you are new to it or if you are not addicted to it, it can be a real headache.
According to pediatricians and psychologists, the presence of a loving and responsible father in a girl’s life helps her to have confidence in herself, to assert herself, and to better understand her femininity.
In addition, in her book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters”, the American pediatrician Meg Meeker emphasized this from the first pages by giving her first chapter the title as follows: ” You’re the most important man in her life “.
It was actually aimed at fathers who have daughters but who have trouble coping with them.
In this chapter of his book, Mekker wants every father to know that there are certain types of support a daughter needs that only her father can give her. She goes on to say that if the father goes out of his way to guide his daughter, to accompany her, to help her face this toxic world, he will also be amazed at the satisfaction, the pride it gives to watch his daughter develop. It will also be an opportunity for him to experience a daughter’s admiration, the love of his father, that nothing can match.
He must contribute to his daughter’s sex education
When it comes to sex, even though both parents have a role to play, Meg insists that for the girl, her father’s wise advice is crucial.
” Parents are the most important people in this field. But fathers have an even greater influence on their daughter. She hears false information about sexuality every day. So you have to fix them. And never fear, the only explanation she expects from you is when it is possible to have sex and why. Nothing more. »
The balance of power is not the best solution
As for the Parisian psychologist and trainer in human relations, Yves Boulvin, he tries to reassure those who would somehow be afraid of this responsibility incumbent on raising a daughter. “Lfathers are often afraid of being fasted. However, it is enough to exercise one’s authority with a heart and a loving gaze. »
According to him, a father does not have to use force to raise his daughter well, on the contrary, the gentle method, with a lot of love and naturalness, is enough to make the flow flow.
It is also important to remind your daughter that you love her, showing her is not enough, you also need to tell her because she needs to hear it to be reassured. This is what Father Dumont maintains on the Christian Family website.
” One day I saw a young woman in her twenties sitting on her father’s lap to ask him for an “I love you”. This astonished replied, “But you know it! “Yes,” replied his daughter, “but I want you to tell me at last.””.
He reminds us that being a father means being both tender and strong. You do not have to be an executioner, otherwise you risk scaring your daughter away instead of attracting her to you.
In the absence of the father
Psychologist Claire Metz, for her part, flies mothers whose father of the child would no longer be present to help by telling them that they are not obligated to feel guilty. They can be overtaken by events, but the important thing is always to help the child use the values that his father instilled in him to move on.
“It is important that the mother does not feel almighty towards the child. Whatever the reason for this absence (death, divorce, abandonment), she should try to make the father present by evoking his values, his obligations, his beliefs, which will allow a third person to be introduced into his relationship with the child. In case of conflict with him, she should keep an honest discourse and highlight the positive aspects of his personality that can help the child to develop. »
She goes on to point out that the help from other male figures in the family is not insignificant either.
She can request other male figures around her – uncle, grandfather – who are not meant to replace the father, who is unique but can serve as the male model for her daughter..