You were asked what you wish you had known before you started your sex life

For the education of children in intimacy and their rights, to represent all orientations, for a free, happy and always consensual sexuality, Konbini is committed to sex education.

The sexual and affective life is anything but a long calm river, and that is good. Our view of sexuality is constantly evolving, and it is often the experiences that teach us what we like or do not. In school, sex education classes address the subject, but never under the prism of pleasure and consent. In France, we mainly inform about reproduction and sexually transmitted diseases, which is a good thing, but it is not enough to have a satisfying intimate life.

While discussing sex education in Konbini’s editorial office, we realized that while it is true that when it comes to sexuality, there is nothing more instructive than practice, but there are plenty of things we would like to know before. . So you were also asked the question and here are some of your answers.

“Sex does not necessarily end in male ejaculation”

“Men tend to forget that women also want to enjoy, just like them, with every review. Often the sexual relationship ends when the man has enjoyed and therefore can no longer have it hard right away. The woman accepts it sometimes without complaining and she tends to forget that women also want to enjoy, just like them, with every report.without asking him.At least I said at first a little to myself ‘well it does not matter , next time I might find my account ‘, but in reality it’s a vicious circle and a pretty bad basis for approaching one’s own pleasure. I wish I had known the young person to understand that it’s OK to “share your desires and your desire to come, not to be satisfied and say it, and not to satisfy myself with few things. Grasp sexuality outside of penetration and therefore erection: after male pleasure you can continue with other resources!” replied a 29-year-old woman.

A teenager of about fifteen walks in his direction: “I wish I had known earlier that there are lots of things to do sexually, other than ‘love’ in the definition we take for granted, which is to say with penetration.”

“The clitoris exists and it is not for nothing”

“I was bottled in the G-spot, but very little in the clitoris. I think I knew there was a ‘button’ on the outside, but everything else was very ‘vagina-centered’. To be honest, even as a 25-year-old, the first time I really felt pleasure, I did not get the connection with the clitoris, quite classic for women of my generation I think.The worst thing is that I am a pharmacist and that as a 25-year-old I had completed all possible “anatomy courses and that there is no clear idea of ​​the clitoris. As long as feminist associations live and the communication campaigns’ Ceci n ‘is not a pretzel’!” exclaims this 31-year-old pharmacist in MP on Twitter.

“If there’s something you can not feel, do not do it”

“Forcing oneself to do something sexually is really the best way to get trauma later, and I wish I had known that before. My ex-boyfriend had put a monster pressure on me to do him a blowjob, after a “Time I gave in when I was not mentally ready. Later I realized that only by enjoying can I really enjoy each other and that changed a lot of things in my relationship.”explains a 22-year-old student.

“Speaking, expressing your wishes, it’s exciting and it’s part of the action”

“Consent is much more complex than just saying ‘hey, are you okay?’ I was never told that it also meant talking during sexsays a young man of 25 years. This is a question that arises constantly, permanently. I do not even remember it being discussed in my sex education and emotional life classes. Talking during sex is not something you learn or watch in porn, it’s something you learn at work. “

“There is no point in trying to become a porn star”

A woman in her fifties remembers: “In my time there were the first porn movies. The guys of my generation saw these magazines or these videos a lot, it was slowly starting to get more democratic. They thought that was what sexual relationships were. The girls, they were more informed You did not see that kind of thing when boys were brought up like that. They were anxious about their first relationship because they ‘learned’ through porn. For girls, the relationship with sex was so little violent and I think it’s very sad to look back. “

“We are no less clean if we sleep before marriage or ‘early'”

She keeps: “Before I started my sex life, I thought you had to be in a relationship with the person to have sex. There was an ingrained awareness that it was good to stay as ‘clean’ as possible. But that’s bullshit. , it’s about experimenting that we’re making the right choices, and it was a little silly to get close to it.

“Female masturbation exists and it’s not dirty”

“For a long time, I was ashamed because we did not talk about it between girls, nor between girlfriends, when we talked about a whole lot of other sex-related topics, and I was very open about it. I do not know. Why masturbation was so taboo It took a full evening with my best friends as a 20 year old to admit it out loud and realize that it is perfectly normal and healthy.says this 23-year-old woman.

“It does not make you impotent if you do not get a hard-on”

“Besides, having a tough person does not make you a strong person either. I’ve had failures before, and back then I was very ashamed while thinking about it. There’s no reason to feel bad about any of partners, it’s just the body failing to take over the mind, for whatever reason. For me, it refers to a certain pursuit of achievement when it really is not the most important thing in a sexual relationship. But hey, that’s a different story! ” joker this man in his thirties.

And you, what would you like to know before you start your sex life? What would you like to have talked about with friends or elsewhere to approach this amazing topic more calmly? To reply, please write to us at vossexualites@konbini.com.

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