Benjamin Muller father of three children with Céline Kallmann: rare secrets about their family life (EXCLUDED)

Benjamin Müller (36) is the proud father of three children aged 10, 8 and 4 (a girl and two boys, born of his union with journalist Céline Kallmann). And parenting is a subject that he masters perfectly. On May 25, he also published the book Become the father of dummies, in collaboration with experts. A project to which he entrusted himself Purepeople. He also agreed to answer a few more personal questions. Rare secrets.

How was this project born?

About two years ago I wanted to write about fathers. And I realized that there were a lot of books that talked about fatherhood, but that was often through the prism of humor. As if books for women were accurate, complete, serious and even sometimes serious when needed. So I told myself that I would write this book by deciding to speak to men as they are. That is, serious people who want real information. So not a humorous book about fatherhood.

How would you present it?

The book is aimed at expectant fathers, new fathers and fathers with children up to about two years. It is also intended for mothers, I think, because there are a lot of subjects intended for both parents. The idea is that this book feels the spirit of the times, that is, to share domestic duties, share the mental load, the total balance between man and woman, or freedom of speech. The place of fathers is more and more important in families, it was important for me to highlight that.

How do you get involved as a father on a daily basis?

It’s funny, because you would never ask a mother about that. I get involved just as much as the mother. We are two who need to have children, raise them.

Aren’t you just tired of the cliché about the danger of doing nothing?

In truth, it is not yet a cliché everywhere. Sometimes it’s still the women who do all the dirty work. It is true that we are seeing more men drop off their children at school or for their activities, so that is a good thing. But on the most tedious tasks, it is still the women who have the overall responsibility. So the cliché is a bit true. Nevertheless, that is about to change. I find that the new generation of fathers is more and more involved and aware of this issue of division of labor.

What education did you receive?

She was benevolent, without any kind of violence and attentive. My father is a doctor, my mother is a crèche. They are with children all day, so they are aware of that. They helped me a lot in gaining confidence. We could also talk about our feelings to say what went well or not. I know well that if I feel more or less good in my sneakers today, then it comes from there.

What else needs to change in society for fathers to take their rightful place?

The way in which the division of tasks or the mental load takes place. In my opinion, what would give everything would be equal pay between men and women and equality in companies. The day when men and women, for a similar position, will earn the same, and the day when they will have the same leave after the arrival of a child, we will take a big step. We will no longer tempt as an employer to recruit the man instead of telling ourselves that she is probably going on maternity leave, for example. And when one of the parents has to postpone sick days for children, it is no longer necessarily the woman who has to do it if she earns less. I think everything will go through business, more than politics.

You are a columnist in The kindergarten house. What relationship do you have with presenter Agathe Lecaron?

It’s a sun. She’s terribly funny. For six years, every time I see her, I know I’m going to have fun. I giggle with her like I had in 6th grade. Moreover, he is a generous person. She teaches me a lot about the job. And as a kindergarten host, she’s great because she often starts the programs by saying ‘it’s cool, we’re parents, we need to talk about that today, but how tiring is that’. And she tells what happened to her. I’m sure it’s super important to viewers. It is the same on air and outside air. After rubbing shoulders with a lot of people in the industry, people like her are rare.

How do you juggle your career and family life?

Now it’s easier, but I had very difficult times. In some companies, we were fully face to face. We were to arrive at 8.30 and leave at 21.00. If we left at So there was a short period where I did not see my children. I was exactly what I did not want to be. I told myself that I would determine the time I would spend with my family, my priority, and that the time left would be to work. So I told myself that I would organize myself to leave at. 17 and enjoy my children. This means that you work a lot between kl. 9.00 and 17.00, eat in front of the computer and work again at. 21:00, when the children are in bed. I prefer to do that and be present with my kids. I want to point out that I have a job that allows me to organize like that. There are plenty of professions where you can not have this flexibility. But when you have the opportunity, I encourage you to do so.

Who takes a sick child a day when one of them is sick?

We manage, especially with Covid, where it was complicated with the classes closing as soon as a child coughed. It was an organizational hell, just like everyone else. My wife is a journalist in the morning at RMC, she goes to work at 01.00, and I, we are live every morning with Les Maternelles. So it’s complicated. I’m lucky to have cute neighbors who can babysit. Otherwise, I took several times to my workplace with my kids when the classes closed. They were in control or backstage.

You mention the importance of communication. Will your children be able to come to you if the need arises?

I think I miss things in the teaching of my children like many people, but if there is one thing I succeeded in, it is. They know they can talk to me about anything, anytime. They are encouraged to speak. It’s never too late to do that.

Has the arrival of your children changed things in your life as a couple?

I would say that the arrival of a child is an earthquake for a couple. Then there are two ways to look at it. Clearly, the couple is no longer the same as before, but that does not mean it is feeling worse. It’s just different. The couple will develop with the child. He will experience major problems in the beginning and experience “babyclash” like almost everyone else. It’s normal. But through dialogue, the couple is strengthened with the arrival of a child. Us, it made us stronger. I think we are even higher in our bond since we became parents.

You are talking about the birth, which can sometimes be marked by unforeseen events. Was this the case for your wife?

We were lucky to have deliveries that went well. All three were triggered. The kids were fine, they did not want out (laughs). The good side is that we can live a great moment as a couple. We sit in a room to wait. Every time we put music on. It’s a suspended time, we no longer know what time it is. We find ourselves both, and we know that something incredibly outrageous will happen without knowing when. The children are not there, we are alone. I find this moment incredible. I advise you to put away your laptop and enjoy this moment. Especially when the baby is there, the moments for two and suspended there will be no one for several months (laughs).

How did you experience the postpartum?

It was a whirlwind. For the first child, we discover everything. We lack self-confidence as parents. Second, we have a little more confidence, but that inevitably upsets the balance we found with the first one. We still know how to do a little better. And the third fact that we are outnumbered. They are three, we are two. We must stop saying that the third rises by itself, it is false. But in terms of self-confidence, we are fine.

How was the choice of first names?

I think it’s one of the coolest moments of pregnancy because I think, like everyone else, we made lists. And finally we took first names that were not there. I do not recommend giving the relatives the first names before the birth, because we deprive ourselves of the surprise and we expose ourselves to the risk of having negative reactions. It kills the magic of the first name.

You mention the subject of couvade in the book. Has this happened to you?

I invented the concept of couvade (laughs). I talked to my wife. Psychoanalysts say it is good that the man is in the process of integrating parenthood, the new him he is in the process of becoming. Specifically, I just find that it gives you flab, which is a little hard to lose afterwards. But if the shrinkers say it’s great, so much the better.

What are your other projects?

Together with my wife, we made a podcast for kids called Encore une histoire. These are stories for children. And since it works very well, we publish these stories in books. We have already published 4 of them, the last one is Le Palais de Paul. And this year we’re publishing a 5. I think it’s extraordinary when someone sends me a picture of a child with one of our books on Instagram. So I hope we can still do a lot.

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