Age differences – Renaud, 47 and Caroline, 26: “Many did not understand that it was a real love story and not a story about buttocks”

Different ages

According to an INSEE study, 6 out of 10 men are older than their spouses, but only 8% of couples have more than 10 years of age difference. There has been a change in recent years: the average age difference seems to be widening. How do these couples, who have been opposed for almost a generation, live? Is it possible to live a balanced relationship when the two partners are not at the same time in their lives?

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Renaud is 47 years old and Caroline, his partner for 2 years, is 26. They love each other dearly, but have seen their age difference have serious consequences for their daily lives: “I am wildly in love with her and it will not change. For the first few months, we naturally thought we were going to live together. And then it was crisis after crisis. She wanted out at night, I did not. We never wanted the same things at the same time. Or quite exceptionally. The conflict “was permanent. At one point, the question arose whether we should leave each other or not. And we decided to give each other a chance by living in separate apartments, but not too far away. each other.”

Many clichés that weigh

Renaud notices that this choice questions his loved ones: “Already there are many who have not understood that between us it was a real love story and not a story about the butt. For many people, a quadra fifties with a young girl, it leaves no doubt about the intentions of one and the other.But this is not the reality of our history, and now we are no longer aware of cheeky flashes or heavy reflections.Our loved ones got used to it, but it is true that from the moment they accepted our love story, we decided not to live together anymore and no one understands that either. It took everything to explain from scratch. For many people, if things do not go well when we live together, we go We’ve been proving for a year and a half that it’s pretty much doable as a lifestyle, and even that it works really well. “

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Renaud and his friend meet several times a week and every weekend: “We sleep on one or the other. We meet, we go to restaurants and then everyone goes and sleeps at home. On the weekends we hang out in bed at her house or mine “What was added was that everyone felt they had their freedom. When we are together, we are really together. We make very few concessions. As a result, our age difference is less felt.”

The importance of adapting to the whims of life

The couple believes that this scheme can last for a long time: “None of us want children and we are in good health. We can review our copy if one of us becomes ill for example and no longer has need the other.It will not be.a victim.A few months ago Caroline had a small downturn due to a complicated situation at work.She came to live with me and I took care of her from better than I We may have two different addresses, but we are still a couple who love each other. But as things stand, I think we will keep our two apartments. I like the freedom it gives us and our permanent reunions.If we no longer had the financial means it would be another matter but it is not a problem for us at the moment.We will enjoy it as much as we can and adapt to changes in our lives when needed. “

Renaud believes that this solution is too little thought out by couples: “We all have the impression that the norm is to live together. But before, we also thought that marriage and children were inevitable in the couple. The most important thing is to adapt to each other’s needs. We have never been so happy and in love as since we had our own home. Now I no longer hesitate to recommend it to my friends who can not find a solution in their shaky couple. Getting some fresh air can help. ease the pressure. Leaving is not always the only solution. “

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