After experience “Married at First sight” on M6 (program which consists of marrying people who have never seen each other according to their degree of compatibility, scientifically assessed), there are people that we would be more or less compatible with, also sexually. Then there are really lovers who immediately have one ordinary sexual languageor is communication the only key to opening this door?
What is sexual compatibility in a couple?
Compatible, according to Larousse, means: “Which can exist at the same time, agree with something else. Sexually, we mean by this two people who get well out of it. That is, if smells, desires, pleasures, etc. respond. There is an underlying idea of naturalness and fluidity in the concept of sexual compatibility. .
What is sexual alchemy?
It is, as it were, the highest degree of sexual compatibility. We are completely in harmony with each other, we feel that the magic works …
Does that mean we should be together?
Unfortunately not. And that’s very misleading. When the body says yes, the heart wants to follow because the wish is authentic. But if the instinct is wonderful because it certainly allows us to recognize good lovers, it is not the guarantee of a love story and even less over time. Because making a pair is much harder than matching sexually. We are programmed to be compatible with a large number of individuals physiologically. But a romantic relationship is something else. The power of sex is undeniable, but it’s not just that.
And besides, even the experts from “Married at First Sight”, who try to bring partners closer, not only through tests related to sex and desire, but also according to psychological, behavioral affiliations, etc., encounter…: only two couples out of fifteen shown during the first three seasons are still together today. Which means that even when we have every reason to be compatible, even when “science” gets involved, it sometimes doesn’t work.
Does sexual incompatibility really exist?
Just as we sometimes feel good in intimacy with someone, it happens that we feel uncomfortable, that it does not match. Sexual incompatibility is the feeling that things are not working well: sexual relations are not fluid, changed or absent wishesdo not want the same sexual practices, odor nuisances etc …
Is there a connection with pheromones?
Most likely. Because we know that pheromones act as silent messengers between members of the same species and therefore play one crucial role in the desire and partner selection. In fact, they will communicate information about the sexual arousal of the partner or the genetic inheritance, thus creating or reinforcing this sense of compatibility.
- You communicate easily and feel good about the other : if you manage to communicate in normal times, the chances are that the sexual language will follow. Ditto if you feel comfortable in the presence of the other, even better than usual. All of this, of course, has a positive effect on the feeling of cohesion and participation.
- You want each other : the desire testifies, of course, to compatibility. We are naturally attracted or not. It’s instinctive.
- Your antics are fluid : when everything seems light and easy as in a ballet, do not ask questions, it is because it matches!
- You like its smell : Smell is central to desire and is often a good indication of sexual compatibility. Better to have a hollow nose.
- These feelings and emotions are mutual : yes, who says compatibility says reciprocity, because when this is imaginary or one-way, it is rather called erotomania.
- You happen to cum at the same time : this presupposes a special participation between the partners who feel and listen to each other physically.
Nota bene: outside the sexual field, the voice, the life projectsvalues, personality, are all areas to explore to measure compatibility with a partner.
Can this change over time? Is it congenital or acquired?
Sexual compatibility often seems obvious, we do not choose. Ditto for the incompatibility. Nevertheless, over time, if you wish, you can tune your violins and develop a common music.
Moreover, as the producer of the show “Married at First Regard” reminds us in an interview, compatibility does not necessarily hold, therefore the importance of maintaining it when you feel it: “I would love to tell you that the compatibility between two people is valid for life. But the reality is not that simple. Couples can love each other for 20 or 30 years and get divorced. That does not mean they do not were compatible for 30 years. People are changing. “
So, yes, of course there are hearts and bodies that are compatible with each other and others that are not, or less. But that’s not all: we can be sexually compatible and not love each other, or vice versa. AND, with the exception of a few rare instances of deep sexual incompatibility, this can always evolve: little by little, by sharing and listening, we can agree with the other. In short, human relationships are very complex, so the only real way to know if it fits, or if it can match, is to listen to your little inner voice.
Good for you and your sexual intuition.