Have you just received a message from someone you really like and you analyze every word? Do you repeat the last conversation you had with her over and over again, looking for the slightest hint of her potential intentions? Are you browsing all the dating sites and apps looking for true love? You may be suffering from anuptaphobia.
Anupta – what? Anuptaphobia or “Bridget Jones syndrome”, which mainly affects women aged 30 and over. It’s the fear of staying single all your life. Rarely manifested as a true phobia, affective addiction may be a sign of a tendency to this syndrome. Focus on this irrational fear to decipher it, what are the symptoms and what means to put in to get out of it.
Why do we suffer from “Bridget Jones Syndrome”?
This irrational fear of being single affects adults whom society considers to be of legal age to be in a relationship and to have children. From the age of 30, it seems that you have to conform to the classic pattern of putting the ring on your finger and starting a family. Sure, this syndrome is above all a social pressure. Can you see her Bridget Jones, single at 30, on her couch, with a pitcher of ice cream in hand and ending up drunk and imagining she ends up alone with her dogs? This is your anxiety.
Ends alone the rest of life, alone and abandoned. It seems like working exclusively with people in a couple increases the psychological pressure by reinforcing the idea that it would be normal to be in a couple and abnormal to be single after 30 years. In a deeper way, anuptaphobia reflects the fear of being abandonedwhich often occurs in childhood.
What are the symptoms?
Can we have symptoms related to this fear of celibacy? So yes. Some examples: you forge romantic relationships without ever “finding the right one” to your great dismay. You are the eternal bachelor of your group of friends and experience a deep feeling of loneliness.
You feel like an empty shell, in permanent lack of connection and company. You overanalyze the messages you receive, the situations or meetings you experience. You are ready to do anything to be in a relationship and you go to the other not for their qualities, but to fill your fear of being alone, even if it means staying in relationships that do not work. You suffer from anxiety, aggravated jealousycrises with loneliness or paranoia … The list of symptoms can be long and rather reflective a deep sense of inferiority and lack of self-confidence.
Can we get out of “Bridget Jones Syndrome”?
The good news is that yes! You can get out of this visceral fear of celibacy for life. The first can be undergoing psychotherapy to find the cause of the fear of being abandoned, by a psychologist or a hypnotherapist. A personal work that will help you understand your blockages and concerns to deconstruct the irrational fear of celibacy.
In parallel, meditation and relaxation exercises will help you relax and get out of these existential crises of distress that sometimes overwhelm you. And most importantly, learn to appreciate the time you spend alone with yourself to restore your image of yourself, to increase your self-confidence.
The love side? Change your perception of relationships and not to put the effort there, which is not necessary. It is normal and healthy to live each relationship for what it is, for the quality of the moments spent with the other, and not to be with anyone at any cost. You have criteria based on your centers of interest, your attractions, your life desires and you do not have to scale them back to respond to a dictation from society or soothe an irrational anxiety.
Finally, you are not going to die from being single, you will instead be able to do exactly what you want, whenever you want. And loneliness does not necessarily mean loneliness ! You are not A’et alone, single, you probably have friends, family, work colleagues, more or less long relationships … Experience each relationship as a gift that nourishes youno matter how long it lasts.
Love will come into your life when you are ready and willing to be open to a healthy relationship, not driven by emotional dependence. We promise you that it will happen when you are ready, in the meantime, take care of yourself!