Rupture: discover “caspering”, a benevolent version of “ghosting”

It is always difficult to end a relationship, even if it is beginning. But we can do it in a correct, respectful and kind way. This is the principle of “caspering”, a good version of “ghosting”, friendly ghost way.

USHow do you react when you realize that this person you met on a dating app and with whom you have been chatting for days, maybe more, ultimately does not suit you? That the long-awaited spark did not appear? Do you want to continue? There are generally two schools: first, ghost, privilege of the heartless or people-who-do not know-how-to-do-it (see you). Disappearing from one day to the next, not responding to any messages and ignoring your match is, spoiler, neither particularly nice nor particularly healthy, as this type of behavior can cause harm to the mental health of the person you are haunting. Loss of self-esteem, self-confidence, stress and insomnia …

On the same subject ⋙ Do you know semi-ghosting, this destructive pro, friendly and loving practice?
Who are the people who “haunt” their romantic partners the most? This study reveals
Dating: what is soft ghosting and why does it annoy us?

Fortunately, there is another practice, and you should know it: the of caspering. You’re guessing she comes from “Casper”, this lovely ghost who would not hurt a fly. And who will not scare anyone! the principle? Just be respectful and sincere. Was it really necessary to put words to a behavior after all normal? However, this term was invented byInternational Business Times in 2018, when the newspaper revealed it 80% of millennials (under 35) had already joked someone on dating apps.

“If you want to look up, it’s no problem, but you might as well stay cordial and polite”

Asked by the media, sex education expert Alix Fox welcomed the creation of an expression with a positive connotation to define a separation: according to her, this change in vocabulary could “make people more concerned about behaving well towards others but also towards themselvesand helps them navigate more happily in the modern dating process and ultimately enjoy happier experiences. “

The expert thus speaks for a softer psychology of the fracture. You do not have to be tough or run away without a trace to end a relationship, no matter how short it is. “If you want to look up, it’s no problem, but you might as well stay cordial and polite,” says Marie Claire. “Just because you do not want to continue the relationship does not mean that you should be uncomfortable, adds Alix Fox. A broken text can be accompanied by compliments or constructive comments, to avoid destroying self-confidence ”. You do not have to do it face to face, but you can be kind. And think of the last time someone broke up with you. So if we left good friends?

Also read ⋙ Are you in a “situation” with someone? This state of love-friendship explained by a therapist
Ghosting, serendipiding, catfishing … 20 words from the dictionary of love, flirting (and breaking up) explained

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