Although all are different from each other, it is toxic conditions usually have a few things in common. In addition to being all sources of suffering and emotional instability, they follow a fairly precise process consisting of three stages.
The first stage of toxic conditions: idealization
The first sign of one toxic relationship usually manifests itself within the first few weeks. He or she tells you that you are the woman in his life when you barely know each other. While some people really mean it, toxic individuals say it just to get you to commit. You are flattered and think you have finally found someone who recognizes your worth.
Toxic people, as usual narcissistic perverts, also tend to quickly put their partner on a pedestal. He or she puts you at the center of his or her life. So fast that it becomes questionable. Their goal is not to value you simply because you deserve it, but to trap you in a relationship that you are beginning to idealize.
This phase is also conducive to a whole lot of self-confidence. You give him your trust and he or she takes the opportunity to know your weaknesses. The goal ? Have all the cards on hand to manipulate you when the time comes.
How do you spot toxic personalities to protect yourself from them?
The devaluation of the other, or the engine in a toxic relationship
Once the first phase is complete, the toxic person moves on to the second phase of their plan: to make you lose all confidence in yourself. She or he will not hesitate to comment on your physique, your job or the weaknesses you have told them about to put pressure on you.
It is another sign of a romantic relationship poisonous. Phrases like “you let go, it shows” or “I understand better why your ex left you” can be pronounced. These people usually go to great lengths to isolate you. They will not hesitate to criticize your friends for keeping you away from them.
Toxic relationship: he or she denies the breakup
that toxic love partner spent months “working” his prey. Letting her slip away overnight? Excluded. At least as long as the decision does not come from him. He or she will do everything in their power to bring you back. Sweet messages, morning, noon and evening, activity suggestions or promises that everything will get better if you give him a “new chance”.
You are a “narcissistic feeder” that he or she can not easily give up. For good reason, you will need to find a new prey and start the whole process from the beginning. Know that if the poisonous partner, who can also be described as a psychic vampire, leaves you overnight, it’s probably because he’s found a new victim.
How to help a friend in a toxic relationship?
All toxic love stories do not take the same proportions. Some people manage to get rid of it at the right time, without major consequences to their mental health, while others become viscerally damaged. Here are some tips to try to limit the damage after a relationship like this:
- Take time for yourself
Do not immerse yourself in a new “patch relationship”. Take time to take care of yourself and your emotions. Spend time alone or with the people you love
It is usually the victims who blame themselves. The finers, on the other hand, often have peace of mind. If this toxic relationship has turned into a nightmare when you have always been sincere and you have nothing to blame yourself for, it is that you are not the problem.
- Contact a specialist
Surroundings and loneliness are not always enough to get over this type of relationship. Do not hesitate to consult a psychologist or a psychotherapist to talk about it. In any case, know that you are not alone and that you deserve to be loved.
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