4 tips to follow to make your relationship last

If most Disney stories end with ” and they lived happily ever after and had many children is good because the rest oflove story as we have just seen exists only in our imagination. How do we make this “happy for their day” apply to our relationship? That is the question that every couple asks themselves. Dr. Amy Johnson, marriage counselor and personal development coach, shared 4 tips that helped her in her romantic relationship as well as in many of his patients. To the American site Your Tango, she revealed her advice, shared by couples whose relationship has lasted for years.

“Do not repeat the same patterns of love”

Easier said than done, getting out of old romantic patterns takes time and a lot of effort. When we think a new relationship may be different from our past failures, it is when we often fall back into our old romantic patterns and sabotage our relationship in the process. That we are always attracted to the same kind emotionally inaccessible partnerthat we experience living in similar situations or even the same conversations, it is possible to get out of it.

“PTo get out of these patterns, you need to pay attention to them. Learn to recognize what triggers this pattern of love to break out of before it starts or gets too big. she explains.

Once you realize this, then you will be able tocustomize your reaction to change the ending. If it’s an argument that keeps popping up, change your answer and ward off the situation. If you end all your relationships after, say, three months – even if this goes well – then try to make it last another month, even if your ego tells you to do the opposite. Think about the result you want and your ideal relationship. What should be changed in this situation to overcome this obstacle, which seems to be repeating itself?

“Be sure what you want”

For your relationship to work, you need to know what type of relationship you want. Starting a new story without being sure of the seriousness you are looking for or if you are ready for a relationship is the best way it can end prematurely, regardless of emotions. .

Learn to feel and affirm what you want. You can always change your mind during the relationship, but in order for it to move on, you must at least know where you are going. »

Learn to listen to your emotions and confirm your desires and your feelingswithout letting your doubts and insecurities take over. Is this the type of relationship you want? Are you okay with this person? Trust your instincts, but mute the little voice that would push you into your old love patterns.

“No one can make you happy: only you have this power”

In a romantic relationship, we often expect too much from our partner, thinking that one sentence, another behavior on the part of the other could make us happy. This can be explained in certain situations, but for a relationship to work, our happiness should not depend on the other. It’s easy to fall into emotional addiction, but much more complicated to break away from it.

Only you control your emotions. These depend on how you interpret actions and the stories you tell yourself. Not because of what your partner says or does. Of course, that does not stop you from doing your best in a relationship. But if you do, it’s because you feel good about doing it, not because you expect something in return. If you expect someone to make you happy, you will inevitably be disappointed. she explains.

Of course, if your partner exhibits toxic behaviors, your happiness will inevitably be affected and the best option is to end this relationship. But for a person to make you happy, you must first learn to be happy alone: ​​your relationship is only something that will make you feel comfortable, but this should not be the only reason for your happiness.

“Learn to give and forgive”

For a person that show love in a relationship, we must learn to show it on our site. And although it may seem naturalto be on the defensivein love you must learn to fail your guard.

When we feel that a person is reserved, it is normal to be reserved, but it is our own restraint that hurts us the most. according to Dr. Amy Johnson.

For her, loving does not mean being in a relationship with that person, but rather learning to forgive and love, even if one has been hurt, so as not to be overwhelmed by hatred. Show love instead of hate contributes to your personal happiness, regardless of the state of your relationship.

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