Dad confronts stepmom and accuses her of keeping favorite grandchildren and ruining a family party

A young father is convinced that his in-laws are playing favorites. When he and his wife asked them to keep their baby, they refused. But when her sister-in-law did the same, they immediately agreed. On Reddit, he tells how the situation made him boil and how he ended up going after his stepmother.

Step parents don’t want to keep their baby

This father’s daughter was born last year. “During the pregnancy, we wondered how we would manage childcare and work after the birth and what our routine would be like. Care is expensive here, so we talked about our financial situation and what solution would work for us. I work full time , my wife three days [par semaine]”, he explains. As their baby was to be the first grandchild in their respective families, they asked the grandparents if they would agree to look after their daughter one day a week.

“Of course we did this knowing that WE chose to have this child and WE are going to take care of her. We absolutely did not force them to babysit or demand to have these days [de garde] available. If they wanted to babysit one day a week, fine, if they didn’t, fine too.”, he points out. His parents immediately agreed, while his in-laws refused: “They immediately said they were too busy with work, taking care of their elderly parents, etc.”. As they have three children, they also explained that if they accepted in this case, they would be obliged to accept for their other grandchildren.

They want to keep their second daughter’s child

“Now things have changed drastically. My sister-in-law got pregnant and they asked my mother-in-law the same question. And she immediately said yes. When I heard that, I got mad at my stepmother. -mother”says this father, saying that his sister-in-law felt guilty when she was told that her mother had refused to babysit her niece. “Meanwhile, my wife has also changed jobs, which makes us plan more because of the irregularity of these working days. And in these difficult days, my mother was and is there to help us. Not my stepmother. Knowing what she has to keep my sister-in-law’s child, I am very angry”.

His wife won’t talk about it with her mother, but this father says he “really hate the fact that she chooses one child and not another”. Now, when her stepmother asks questions about her baby, she gets on her nerves. Things escalated to the point that he decided to confront her: “This week we celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday with the whole family. She told an aunt how much she was looking forward to looking after my sister-in-law’s child and I lost control. I was angry that she favored one grandchild over another and she almost missed our daughter’s first full year.”

When his wife resents him for confronting the grandmother on her birthday, he asks if it’s his fault. Opinions are divided on the forum. There are those, like him, who feel his mother-in-law is playing favoritism. “I’m a firm believer in treating your children equally, so if you do something for one, do it for the other. Plus the way she said she was excited to keep her sister-in-law’s child, I think it’s really unpleasant, it rubs the knife in the wound”says one user.

Others, on the other hand, point out that the grandmother has every right to change her mind about keeping her grandchildren, but also that we do not know the whole context and that things may have changed in a year. “There could be a million reasons why they said no [ce papa] and yes to his sister-in-law. Perhaps the father had more rules and expectations of his stepmother. Maybe the sister-in-law can’t afford childcare. Maybe the mother-in-law wasn’t ready to be a grandmother-babysitter and is now. Perhaps the mother-in-law would not be responsible for a child and her elderly parents during a pandemic. We don’t know when the father exploded at a birthday party instead of asking.”, someone points out. In any case, it is certain that he chose the wrong moment to confront his stepmother…

And what do you think?

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