The follow-up of a therapy has become an essential criterion in the search for love

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    More and more young people are talking about the importance of taking care of their mental health, which often involves going to therapy. This criterion is especially popular on social networks, where many women extol the virtues of good mental health in romantic relationships.

    On dating apps, it’s all about criteria. Age, height, professional situation, astrological signs… But also psychological monitoring. Many Internet users declare on social networks that they want their partner to see a therapist before considering a potential romantic relationship with him. “All men should be required to go to therapy before getting into a relationship with anyone”says one of them on Twitter.

    This new amorous injunction finds an echo especially on TikTok, the social network of the younger generations. the hashtag #allmenneedtherapy (“all men need therapy”, in French) has almost 6 million views. Internet users often use it in videos where they indicate the behavior or remarks that repel them in a man. This dynamic is reminiscent of that of red flagsthe red flags used on Twitter to indicate a problematic situation.

    While some TikTok users take the #allmenneedtherapy hashtag seriously, others do it for humorous purposes. Some of them stage themselves and whisper things over their spouse’s phone. But they don’t whisper anything and everything: they just repeat the word several times “therapy”. This original staging was intended to influence the targeted advertisements that their half will see appear on the Internet and to bring those related to mental health.

    Men’s mental health is still a taboo

    This craze around men’s mental well-being (and not only) goes beyond the boundaries of social networks to reach dating sites and applications. One of them, Hinge, announced in May the launch of a new feature that will allow its users to talk more freely about their mental health with the chosen one (or chosen ones) of their heart. They can now indicate, in their profile, how they would have ended sentences like “My friends ask me for advice on…”, “One of my limitations is…”, “My self-care routine consists of…” or “My psychologist would say I’m…”

    For Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hingethis new feature shows how much importance today’s singles place on their mental well-being as well as that of their partner. “Talking about mental health has gone from an ‘oh no’ to a must-have in modern dating”she said in a statement. “People have worked on themselves and want to be with someone who has done the same”.

    Hinge found it with its users: 97% of them want to date someone who takes “active care” of his mental health. But only 9% are comfortable talking about their therapy on a first date.

    If the dating app hasn’t specified what percentage of men are behind these statistics, chances are it’s not very significant. Many studies have shown that members of the male gender often neglect their mental health, especially if they are heterosexual. Gay and bisexual men tend to seek medical help less if they have depression than gay and bisexual men, according to a 2016 study.

    The onset of the Covid-19 pandemic has only amplified this phenomenon, especially among young men. So it’s no surprise that some singles want their potential significant other to follow their lead and see a psychologist. “Shortly after going to therapy for a long time, I realized that I used to date men who hadn’t really come to terms with their trauma or past experiences. I often felt like I had to carry the emotional weight.”explained a 25-year-old Briton to The Face.

    However, many are aware that starting therapy is a highly personal decision and that it is by no means a miracle solution. They do not hesitate to have fun on social networks. “Men would rather make a niche in a parking lot than go to therapy”, writing i.e. a surfer on Twitter. Another one confirms to “men literally dress up as bats to fight criminals and thugs at night instead of going to therapy”referring to Batman.

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