Some pairs last 10 years, 20 years or a lifetime. Before they agreed to good and bad, they had to learn to live together and, above all, make concessions in order to develop. What is their secret? A recent study, commissioned by Warner Leisure Hotels and reported by the daily The Mirror, examined the question. After interviewing a panel of 2,000 married (and happily) British contestants, the experts have established the recipe for a lasting relationship.
Learn to communicate
Communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Because, in addition to enjoying precious moments together, the exchanges between the two partners can be crucial: “it takes a mixture of humor, affection, understanding and interest to maintain an exciting relationship”, says the study. Couples also emphasize listening to each other complain about work or everyday life, as well as showing how proud and admiring they are of each other, especially when in front of others. And to indicate: “The recipe for a perfect marriage includes six meaningful conversations, three long walks and two important arguments a month”.
While happy couples said they argue on average twice a month, their experience has taught them not to let arguments drag on. It’s important not to let your mind be clouded by your ego, they essentially recommend. Thus, it would be necessary to accept the other’s faults and bad habits, to be patient when the latter is in a bad mood, and above all not to fall asleep after an argument without settling it, or even talking about it. , before falling into the arms of Morpheus.
In love, the demonstration of his affection is essential to make the relationship last. The most satisfied couples estimate that they have sex five times a week and say “I love you” to their partner up to 20 times in 2 weeks. According to the study, the lovebirds kiss two or three times a day and cuddle up to 11 times a week.
To find each other in complete privacy and face the routine that sets in, happy couples say they organize two short stays and two longer vacation periods each year. Simon Thompson, chief executive of the adults-only hotel group, which commissioned the research, said: “We weren’t surprised to find that taking short breaks is one of the secret ingredients to a happy marriage. And to add: “Many couples who visit us say they feel closer after a romantic weekend of relaxing and unwinding together – and it certainly helps that neither of them has to do the chores.”
Living in the moment
Finally, the secret to a lasting marriage lies above all in enjoying the present moment. “Quality time spent enjoying shared interests seems like a winning formula for a lasting marriage, while valuing time spent pursuing individual hobbies,” says Simon Thompson.
Although the definition of true love differs from person to person, some similarities can be striking in the responses of the participants. Some enjoy trying new activities together like going on weekends or surprising their partner with acts of kindness, gifts or dining out. Others find their balance in everyday life. And this goes, for example, through the sharing of household duties. Finally, 7 out of 10 people enjoy spending time together without any distractions to add excitement to the relationship and remind them why they love each other so much.
“Whatever your preference, the key to a happy marriage seems to be time—time together, time apart, time to forgive, time to laugh, and time to understand,” the study concludes.