How can you be sure to meet men who share your values when you are a religious and practicing woman? Two women confided their relationship with romantic encounters, their expectations, but also their fears.
False beliefs surrounding female practitioners are legion, especially regarding their love lives. To clarify many of the elements that circulate in certain media or on social networks, I met two women of the Muslim faithMyriam and Sonia, 22 and 28 years old respectively.
The first is in Master 1 in communication and wants to become a journalist reporter. She has always lived in France, his mother is Algerian and Muslim and his father is French and non-believer. Myriam was raised in the very strong Muslim culture of her mother’s family, without asking too many questions about it. It wasn’t until last year that she really questioned her faith.
With my 17-year-old little sister, we had this click at the same time, and she also started to take an interest in it. We learned how to do certain exercises together and since then we’ve been pulling each other up. Also, spiritual learning is endless, it is very encouraging. Today, it controls many things in my life, and it is very close to my heart.
Sonia, on the other hand, is 28 years old and has been a marketing project manager for three years. Both her parents are Muslim and she grew up in Morocco, a culturally Muslim country.. Arriving in Paris to study 11 years ago, she had clicked far from the countries of her birth. Until then, she explains it to me it was cultural before it became deeply spiritual.
It wasn’t until around 20 that I really understood why we did certain things, until then it was cultural, then it became more spiritual. This is what I call myself: religious maturity. I am of the Muslim faith, quite practicing, so this is something close to my heart.
What are romantic encounters like when you are a Muslim woman?
When I ask them if they would be able to take the first step, their answers are quite categorical. For Sonia, if the person is in their close circle, why not, but if it is a stranger met in public space, she prefers not to vote. In fact, if the person is not a Muslim, it becomes nothing and that’s it impossible to perceive religious beliefs in an instant.
An alternative that empowers women to take their love destiny into their own hands, and this is worth regardless of his worship, without fear of any judgment, are the dating applications. For example, Hawaya offers a fun and safe digital space that allows users to be sure to meet men who share the same cultural values.
How can the application be secured, you ask? It is very simple, each profile is validated with selfie verification technology, which helps prove the authenticity of each user. There is also moderators who are very responsive to exchanges ! If you have problems during a conversation, you can use the report or even send them a screenshot. In addition, it is very easy to show from the start what you are looking for. And then the applications make it possible address the lack of opportunities difficult to provoke in real life.
Critics of these kinds of apps will say that it is a consumerist way of looking at love and that you should be surprised. Others will still say that they want to cut into the leg and that life has already surprised them enough. I imagine everyone finds dinner at their doorstep, but hard to form an opinion without having tried.
Test the Hawaya dating app
Myriam was only in a relationship with one boy when she was 17 years old. It was a time when she describes herself as less “enlightened” about her spirituality and her boyfriend was an atheist. This relationship allowed him to notice it not sharing the same cultural values caused discord.
When a sad event occurred in his lover’s life, and Myriam tried to calm him by telling him that it was a stroke of fate that it should happen like this, the boy took it badly: “You don’t want my good, You understand does not ! “. Myriam was too young to realize that in addition to temperament, faith had already begun to dictate his way of approaching his life.
Today is the first criterion during my meetings it is real the faith. Then I pay attention to the rest: the physique, the mentality… From the moment I know that the person is Muslim, I can really get to know them and maybe consider something.
Sonia has never had a relationship in her life, but she has already tried to meet people. She has played the blind date game twice. Friends have arranged meetings with friends of theirs, who are single, and Muslims, which it could have stuck with. But the spark was not present in any of the dates. Sonia is convinced of that when you meet the right person, you’ll know, there is no need to force things. Subsequently, she decided to test dating apps:
I like old school stories where you meet someone on the train or at work. I had registered on an application reserved for Muslims, with a modern interface that immediately attracted me. I had two dates that resulted in about four physical dates in total. They were sweet, polite, sweet and all. But there was no click or feel beyond that. They were two quite different characters. The first one was very free, he didn’t practice much. He fasted, but that’s all. It’s a bit of an easy practice… Besides, it’s very rare to meet Muslims who don’t do it. On the other hand, prayer will require a little more rigor, more attachment. He drank occasionally so it didn’t suit me. Also, he was a bit haughty at times, he had done well in his life on the side, so it showed when he spoke. As for the second one, I think it was a little different in the sense that he wanted to have a little more fun. He wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, he was living a bit from day to day, so we talked a bit and then it flowed.
What Muslim women are waiting for in love
Moreover, the criteria that Sonia and Myriam look for in a man are quite simple and similar:
Friendly, respectful. At a minimum, he must be educated, well-mannered, but also have an academic background. I don’t care if he’s rich or poor and I wish he had a sense of humor too. Afterwards, I go by feeling, whether it’s Muslims and Jews or Christians or others, if you don’t have the feeling, you know it. I want to spend my whole life with the person I wanted to relate to, so it has to happen naturally.
For the two women, the “cultural” criterion is decisive. When they meet someone, they project themselves into the marriage. If the person is not of the same religious faith, the marriage cannot be confirmed…Faith is also something they want to share with their husbands, to later pass it on to their children.
Repentance is a bit of a long journey, but if I know the person has this desire and is sincere, why not. But usually it is not sincere, people convert to marriage but then there is no practice. It would really be necessary that the person is already interested in it or that the course is already engaged.
As for the elimination criteria, they are also quite identical for the two women:
I am conservative in some things. But for example a man who wants his wife to stay at home to take care of the children, for me it is not possible because I have ambitions. I still have a fairly modern vision. It doesn’t stop me from practicing properly, according to a basic framework. But I couldn’t necessarily be with a man who sees himself as the head of the family and who makes all the decisions. There must be a balance.
I return a bit to the principle of conservatism. Many men hide behind this to say, “my wife does all the housework.” Some have not necessarily understood the principle. Because in Islam the woman is literally on a pedestal, it is said that paradise is under her feet. So women should be valued, we take care of them and we don’t try to make maids out of them.
“I’ve already been educated, I don’t need another father, I know my limits”
Today you have the right to work and do what you want, so there is no submission. Absolutely 100% of the veiled women I know have chosen it out of conviction and they are happy about it. They are teachers, doctors and people from my family or those around me, so that doesn’t stop them from having a completely fulfilled life. This submission exists, but it is not my business and it is not something I see in my everyday life. I’m very feminist, I grew up with two brothers, so I don’t want to be trampled.
For the two women, the extremist images that are disseminated exist to create fear, and this applies to all cults. As if a woman could not make the choice to become spiritually involved on her own, she would necessarily have been forced by a man.
In fact, it makes me laugh when we say that, because at the end of the day, these are people who aren’t even informed about the culture. I would just tell them to educate themselves, go talk to practitioners and ask them the question directly. They will see that a Muslim woman is absolutely not submissive. Women who wear the headscarf mostly wear it by choice. In Islam there is no submission, we are subject only to God, not to any man.
Choose a lifestyle oriented towards spirituality, regardless of the purpose of his worship is not an obstacle to make romantic encounters. There are many ways to meet men who share the same faith interests. Furthermore, regardless of the culture we embrace, this does not prevent us from having feminist values and living our commitments that everyone wants.
Are you of the Muslim faith? Why Choose Hawaya Dating App:
Besides the fact that this very melodious name means my love in Arabic, Hawaya allows online dating to be compatible and adapted to the life chosen by Muslim women. The men at Hawaya share:
- Same way of life and same view of the couple
- The desire to build a serious relationship
- The same cultural beliefs and values
Meetings are held with respect and everyone’s consent and in a safe way thanks to moderators.
What does it mean to be a believer and pass your faith on to your children in 2022?
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