The vocabulary of love is getting richer day by day. This is not to displease us. Litromantism is one of the last expressions to appear. Being litromantic refers to the fact of having a one-sided love affair. They are people who love each other without considering the status of a couple. They find their fulfillment in this type of love patterns.
What is litromanticism ?
Before proceeding further, you should know that litromanticism is a romantic orientation also called acromancy. It does not at any time imply the sexual life of the person living it. These are people who are looking for a one-sided romantic love. This orientation could be perceived by some as love masochism. For good reasons, sentimental relationships as we know them are predominantly based on reciprocity.
Individuals who embrace this loving practice are the only ones who find satisfaction in hiding their feelings. A behavior that is very present in people “sensitive to art or spirituality, often disconnected from reality”, explains Véronique Kohnpsychotherapist and relationship specialist.
In fact, the person falls in love with someone to whom she will never confess her feelings. She delights in the dramatic aspect of the situation and does not hesitate to nurture her love by observing from a distance. There are two types litromantic : the positive and the so-called negative. The first denies the relationship, but can accept reciprocity, while the second refuse to have their feelings shared.
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that litromanticism : a way to love without exposing yourself to disappointment
Love, especially if it is unrequited, can be a source of heartache and therefore suffering. One sided love may exist litromantic a way to protect yourself from potential heartbreak. “The fact of keeping romance in the state of fantasy makes it possible to sublimate the state of love and to preserve oneself from it love disappointment » explains the psychologist.
Maintaining the amorous projections one makes of someone protects against reality. Admit your feelings for her, get to know her and s‘to notice that she or he is not that funny or smart that what we had imagined could destabilize. that litromanticism is therefore based on a great idealization, which can also create frustration and therefore suffering.
“Staying on an ideal prevents reaching out to others, it makes any relationship impossible. It’s very good as long as everyone finds their account and it doesn’t generate sadness,” explains Sophie Durant, specialist in couples therapy.
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What are the limits of litromanticism ?
Not all love patterns are based on one must be connected to start a family”. From this postulate we can understand that some litromantic can flourish in this kind of relationship. But some of them are most likely delayed. “If there is pain, it is because there is a fear of commitment and attachment, so you need to consult”, advises Sophie Durand.
What about physical conditions? “Whose litromantic is completely in harmony with their orientation, they do not feel any physical deficiency,” says the psychologist. But they are not all asexual. Some of them can of course have sexual desire and intercourse. It just won’t be with the fantasized person.
This amorous orientation may also cause some collateral damage. There is a good chance that one or litromantic loses interest in a person if the latter admits to loving him in return. We can certainly talk about a fear of commitment. “There is nevertheless a fear of being deprived of experiences or freedom, as well as a rejection of unpleasant things and responsibilities. But is not not choices, just configurations in people who have a special experience” states the specialist.
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We will have understood it if litromanticism can really be a love orientation, it is also not uncommon for it to be just one fear of committing to a relationship. “Some people have not been used to being loved in their childhood, for example, they can then develop this type of behavior as adults”, adds Sophie Durand. If you are sure to not have any personal barriers to resolve by consulting a therapist, here are three criteria that can help you on know if you are litromantic.
- You prefer love stories fantasized to concrete real love stories.
- You especially thrive in the seduction phase. You want it to last forever.
- You idealize the person you think you love until the first contact. And if she shows interest: you run away.
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